Melepaskanmu

I fall in love with this song.. I met a new, good friend, which taught me a lot of things.. I got to know this song from the person; whom I called “Dang Badang”.. The song’s lyrics portrayed exactly what’s hidden deep inside my heart..

I always tell myself.. I should just be me.. Nothing to change.. Just be like the old me who care and love all the people surrounds me unconditionally.. Even, the person that I care too much always hurt me.. But, sometimes, I do feel like its time to move on.. Just like what is written in this lyrics:

Aku menjaga utuhnya cinta,

Tapi kau selalu mengingkarinya,

Cukup sudah aku menahan sakit,

Sebelum teruskan cinta ini..

Terlalu lama ku berdiam diri,

Saat kau selalu sakiti hati,

Maafkan ku harus meninggalkanmu,

Usaikan semua yg ku rasa..

Dan aku pun terluka, karenamu

Karna cintamu,

Aku harus melangkah jauh darimu,

Dari cintamu..

Dan aku pun terluka, karna cintamu,

Aku harus melangkah jauh darimu, dari cintamu..

Hapuskanlah semua tentang kita,

Aku harus melepaskanmu,

Walaupun ku tak bisa..

Dan aku pun terluka, dan aku pun terluka..

Karenamu, karna cintamu,

Aku harus melangkah jauh darimu, dari cintamu..

love-means-letting-go

 

《 Melepaskanmu / Sakura Band 》

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Patience

Hoping and praying for the best for Final PRO III exam that is still ongoing and finishing soon.. Pray hard to ALLAH for a good news during results announcement this coming Thursday.. Aminn, insyaAllah.. But sometimes I do doubt on my ownself.. When I started to doubt on my patience, my waiting, all my endurance, I’ll remember this. It is so deep..

“Patience does not mean to passively endure. It means to be farsighted enough to trust the end result of a process. What does patience mean? It means to look at the thorn and see the rose, to look at the night and see the dawn. Impatience means to be so shortsighted as to not be able to see the outcome. The lovers of God never run out of patience, for they know that time is needed for the crescent moon to become full..” ~Rumi

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All the best for Viva tomorrow, Pija..!!! jia you..!!!

This Feeling is LILLAHI TAALA

This feeling,
I’d try anyway,
To throw everything & hiding it away,
To ALLAH I bent my knee, pray & pray,
If you are not for me, give me strength to untie,
& let’s just be okay.
However this feeling,
This feeling is still there,
Stuck in my heart & still stay,
No matter how much I tried, no matter how much I prayed,
Seems that it just getting deeper & grow bigger day by day,
Searching for the answer why it goes that way,
It could be,
Because this feeling is LILLAHI TAALA, thus it never fades away.

P/S: I do care for you Lillahi Taala

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I believe..

“Sorrow prepares u for joy.. It violently sweeps everything from ur house, so that new joy has space to enter.. It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of ur heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place.. It pulls up the rotten roots, so that the new roots hidden beneath have room to grow.. Whatever sorrow shakes from ur heart, far better things will take their place..” -Rumi

I believe.. =))

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Something about 1%..

Something about 1 percent.. hmmm.. It also can be something about 10 cents.. Synonym.. hahaha.. =P Have u ever go to a shop and wanna purchase for something, then u realized that: “oh..!! not enough 10 cents..” Then, just because of lack of that 10 cents, u can’t buy what u want..Previously, when ur 10 cents drop out from ur purse while walking, and u just like: “nvm.. ignore it.. it just 10 cents..” But now, u can’t get what u want..  WHAT..??? JUST BECAUSE OF THAT 10 CENTS!! Yup.. exactly.. Just because of that 10 cents.. In which, usually u don’t really care about that 10 cents.. For u it is invaluable.. Or maybe less valuable (just try to use a nicer word)..=/

That’s exactly what I feel.. Just because of that 1 percent, I lose my opportunity to get an A for my medical exam.. I got A’s for all other papers for my exam, but just because of my MCQ, I lose that 1 percent to get an A for overall grade.. Feeling sad, disappointed with my own self.. A lot of thoughts appears, dancing in my mind.. ‘If just..~”. No! There is no such IF in this life, once it became past.. =(. I tell myself: “Pija, just keep ur head.. Please don’t make the same mistake next time..” 1 percent maybe it just a small, little thing, but it do change the meaning of something..From fail to pass.. From B to A..

But, anyway.. I supposed to thank ALLAH, Alhamdulillah, that I passed my medical exam.. Maybe I didn’t get an A, but I still better than those who fail.. I should be grateful of what I have because maybe there is someone outside there, that fail the exam, wishing that he/she get the grade that I’ve got.. Yeah right! So, please be thankful and grateful for what u have.. Half a loaf is better than no bread at all.. =). I found a quote: “I complaint, crying that I have no shoes, untill I saw a man with no legs.. Life is full of blessings.. Sometimes we’re just blind to see them..” Exactly!! I should be thankful for what I have.. =))

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Behind everything, there’ll be something.. ALLAH makes it not early, but it’s not going to be late.. It will happen at the right time.. Even maybe not now.. So, for everything that I want, but I still haven’t achieve them, I believe.. It’s gonna happen, maybe not now, not within this recent of time, but for sure it will be, at the right time, that ALLAH wants it to be.. I just have to be patient, never give up, and don’t ever fade my believe towards The Almighty.. Jia you..!!!Thank u ALLAH.. Thank u for all ur blessing for me.. Thank u for always be there with me.. Thank u because YOU always care for me.. Thank u for everything! Me.. I’ll never give up.. Especially in another 1 week time, I’m gonna have my final exam..mai pun tua!!!  Look at the bright side of life.. There’s a rainbow always after the rain.. There’ll be no rainbow without rain… xD

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It’s May…!!! xD

Today is 1st of May.. Ohhh… It’s May..!!! xDD

May… A lot of things gonna happen this month.. I guess.. Mother’s day, study days, exam days.. haha.. All those in May… =P

I have another less than 20 days to study for my exam.. I’ll never give up.. I’ll try my best, to do the best for that.. Cett.. Padahal malas..!! =,=. Pija.. Mai pun tua.. Either u run the days or the day runs u.. So, it’s ur own choice.. Choose! Just do it.. Work for it.. Even if u fall on ur face, u’re still moving forward.. =)

For Mother’s day… hmmm.. Like usual.. I can do nothing other than wishing my mom for that.. But, I’m planning to maybe bake a cake and decorate a card for my mom.. Later.. After coming back home… =))

And.. Another important thing.. hehe.. =). I’m gonna turn 22 this May.. Owh yeah.. Tua sudah… =p. What I wish for this coming birthday.. Nothing special.. I just wanna be happy, and surely enjoy everything in my life.. I just wanna be me.. xD

~Gambar sekadar hiasan.. Thanks to Google… =pIMG_8047

I wanna jump higher..

Pija…. jia you..!!! When u feel like there is no hope, please, please, please remember how u came here.. Even since the very first time, even since before u step u feet here in this place, even since before that, there were a lot of problems that u’ve encountered.. But at last u managed to study here, to step ur feet at this land (even actually I don’t like it.. =p), to achieve what u’ve been dreaming of all this while.. So please.. Remember all those.. All those things that u’ve encountered and manage to gone through all of them even it was tough.. The challenges that u face now it just like a bump that can makes u jump even higher.. Believe in urself that u can do it..!!! mai pun tua..!! and once again jia you..!!! =p

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I wanna jump higher… as high as I can.. I wanna dream greater.. & reach the stars in the end… Dear ALLAH.. please alway bless me.. amin… =))

Recently… =p

~I wish to see u happy~

Went out with my ex-roommate for dinner and shopping.. She asked me how about my being recently.. I know she is concern about me.. Thanks a lot for that.. Honestly speaking, even I look calm and act cool(perasan! =p), actually I’m really worry about what happen in Sabah.. =/. About all the Sulu thingy that makes thing harder and complicated there.. Over the sea and far away.. I can do nothing, I just can pray..To her, I tell all those misery things that haunted my mind after she asked me… She did advice me to just keep my head on the thing and just keep praying.. She then asked me about other things; study, friends, relationship, all those problems that burden me (can’t mention here), I don’t really share other problems with her (don’t wanna burden her with my personal prob).. I felt so comfort and even felt like wanna burst into tears when she told me that : Pija, I wish to see u happy..” It’s words from a friend of mine who is really concern about me.. She can knows that I’m such in my trouble time recently, with a lot of problems come to me.. She said: Of course I know u, because we are similar streotype”.. =p.. hahaha.. Thank u friend.. For always be there with me.. Even we rarely hang out together, but when any one of us is having our hard time, we are there for each other.. Last time was ur time.. Now is mine.. =’). 

 

~This is the end~

This is the end.. For my 3rd year.. Actually not yet la.. =p. hahaha.. What I meant is, today is the last day for my PBL and clinical teaching session.. & Tomorrow is gonna be the last day for my lecture before the exam.. =(. It doesn’t matter about the exam.. The thing that matter is, this is the last time for me in studying medic.. I know next sem before starting my clinic, I’m gonna have the medical posting.. But it’ll be not the same as now.. It’ll be without my medical friends.. It’ll be with totally different environment.. Especially, when I start focusing on my dental stuffs.. Rather than studying medic.. Nvm Pija.. Life must go on.. There is nothing in this world that is permanent.. Everything change and gone.. Everything just temporary.. Even life.. So just keep going and holding on.. =)). Pujuk myself..

 

Image~last clinical teaching session for O&G block and for my medical study – with my PBL mates; group 2 Dental & Dr Rehana (she is a very nice dr.. xD)

Image~ Dental Group 2… xD

 

If one day..

If one day u feel like crying..
Call me..
I don’t promise that I’ll make u laugh..
But I can cry with u…

If one day, u want to run away..
Don’t be afraid to call me..
I don’t promise to ask u to stop..
But I can run with u…

If one day u don’t want t listen to anyone..
Call me..
I promise to be there for u..
& I’ll be very quiet..

But if one day u call me..
& there is no answer..
Come fast to see me..
Perhaps I need u!

 

Tears..

Life is always a mystery.. Smiles may be worn to hide tears.. Those who seem happy, may be keeping in their heart, some pain so severe.. Even tears are words that heart can’t say, but I want to stop it.. Please.. Stop crying!!! If u can’t laugh over the same funny thing over and over again.. Then, why should u cry over the same thing over and over again… Pija.. Please be strong.. jia you..!!!

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